In light of my last post, I've started a blog called 2013 Blessings. Feel free to check in with it as I will be posting my blessing of the day, every single day this year. I hope it will encourage you!
As we end 2012, I want to take a moment to just say, "Thanks, Lord." You brought us through another year. It's been a joyous one, but also one with its own ups and downs.
I'm blessed in many ways: - For my next breath - To have two beautiful children who make each day special
- To know the love of a good man, the only man for me
- To see the sun as it rises each morning and the moon rise each night - For the flowers that bloom in the spring
- For two precious angels waiting for me in heave
I choose not to focus on the losses I have faced, the gloom of the news, the dreariness of the fiscal cliff, the indecency of politicians or the godlessness that surrounds us each day. Instead, I choose to focus on my blessings - both small and great. For the Lord didn't make me to be a wimpy whiner, but to be powerful in Him. It is through my blessings each day that I see His love for me, from the tiniest bloom to the whisper of the wind as it blows across my face. It's in the hugs and kisses from my children and the craziness of my husband. The Lord exactly what I need when I need it the most. He loves me far more than I'll ever know ... that in itself is the greatest blessing of all.
So for me 2013 is a new year, a new beginning in HIM. It's time to put away my sorrow and to continue to hope in the future. It's not that I put away my memories of a beautiful little girl, but that I look forward to the future that awaits me. For in time, I will be with Emma for eternity as we worship our Lord forever. But for now, I serve a Lord who needs me to be here in the now for Him and what He has called me to do in 2013.
This time of year is incredibly difficult for those who have lost a loved one. The memories, hopes, dreams and plans we have made with our loved ones may not have ever been fulfilled. For me, I only had nine months of memories - for some it may only have been a few weeks. And for others, maybe it's reliving a lifetime of moments with those we love that hurt us even more during the Christmas season. Just remember that though we may feel the pain of their loss now, the reunion in heaven will be that much sweeter.
I miss Emma dearly, but know that we'll have an eternity in heaven. As it is, she gets to spend Chrirs
My heart is breaking for the families in Connecticut. I know what it feels like to lose a child, but to lose one in such a heinous way is unimaginable. The sorrow and grief can be unbearable at times, but heaven has open doors for these beautiful children. They are now resting secure in the arms of Jesus. They will never be hurt again and will live forever. They are playing with loved ones who have gone to heaven before them or are running with other children. They are not alone. They are loved and always will be.
For the families of the loved ones, my heart aches with you and grieves with you. The journey you are on will not be an easy one but with Christ's help, it can be done. It was a senseless act of evil on the part of a disturbed person. Hold tight to Christ and let Him carry you through this. May He cloak you with His peace, love and grace. May He carry the burden of grief for you. In Matthew 11:29-30, Jesus says, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Rest your souls in Jesus. We are all praying for you and with you.
I was digging through one of my dresser drawers yesterday and uncovered a pair of Emma's socks and little hand mittens. I lifted them to my nose and breathed in deep, thinking that I would be able to smell that "baby" smell. My heart broke a little and the tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered my sweet little girl. How I wish I could have held her a little longer and enjoyed my daughter more than I did. I miss her.
This time of year is hard as I imagine it is for any parent who's ever lost a child. Right after she died, every night when I prayed I asked the Lord to please give her a hug and a kiss for me. I don't do it as much now...but I miss her as much now as I did back then.
This would have been her second Christmas with us. I guess what's cool is that she gets to spend every day with Jesus. Every day in heaven is a celebration of our Savior.
I look forward to the day that I will see her again...not that I want my life here on earth to end anytime soon ... but I am ready when God calls me home to heaven. I have no fears or doubts. Heaven does exist. Jesus is real. God is good.
I just remember that even though she is no longer here with me on earth, I'll be able to spend eternity with her in heaven. And one day my whole family will be together in the splendor of heaven, worshiping the Lord for eternity.
The book and cover are ready to be published. We are simply waiting on funds. While I really feel I am a patient person, God keeps instilling this lesson within me!
I was reading the book of Job last night and came across his worship prayer after losing his 10 children, 11,000 livestock and most of his servants:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” - Job 1:21
How true is this, even today? We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. God gives and He takes away but through it all, may His name be praised. We are guaranteed nothing while here on earth.
The Bible says to lay up our treasures in heaven and that's where mine are. I have two beautiful children waiting for me in heaven and one day I will see them. I will get to hold them close and watch them dance in the clouds. I will be able to hold their hands, kiss their cheeks and feel their arms embrace me.
Yes, I came naked into this world. Yes, I will depart the same way. Yes, the Lord gives. Yes, the Lord takes away. Yes ... may the name of the Lord be praised! YES!
One year ago today I gave birth to an angel. She was beautiful and peaceful. Her heart stopped beating before she was even born - but she went straight to heaven and rests in Jesus' loving arms. I miss her now just as I did when she was born. There are times that I'll be doing something in the house and a picture of her toddling around the corner slips into my mind. It's almost as if a whisper of her is with us each day.
I love you, Emma. I always will. May your light shine brighter with each passing day.
It seems so weird to think that this time last year I was planning on Emma's arrival, not yet knowing that she would be stillborn. All the hopes and dreams for her still alive and growing inside of me. The amazing thing is that those hopes and dreams have now turned into a mission to tell others about God's love for them. It's so easy to see God's plan for her short life was to be the platform for which I would leap off in faith to tell others about Jesus. I will try my best until my last breath to let others know they have a God-given purpose.
Emma's first birthday is in ten days. That's unbelievable. It almost seems like a dream since she was born ... almost. Johnny and I have been talking about what we plan on doing that day. I've already purchased the lemons for her Lemon Bundt birthday cake. I know we'll visit the cemetery and pay her our respects. I think I'll take her a piece of cake ... with a candle for her first birthday. I know she won't be able to eat it but I want to celebrate the day with her ... even if we eat the cake all by ourselves at
I am on countdown. It will be one year next March 11th that Emma went home to heaven. I still miss her incredibly. Last week I pulled out her polka dot blankey and fell asleep with it wrapped up in my arms. I long to hold her and feel her in my arms. The pain is less now, but the ache of missing her is still present. I doubt that will ever really go away completely.
Despite these feelings, I still see God's hand in our lives. Johnny is in Orlando right now at a Keller Williams convention. The inspirational message from Mary Tennant (co-founder of Keller Williams) was partially about Emma and how God is working in our lives. We continue to let God's light shine in every way we can. Every blessing is from Him. I see it in so many ways. God is good...never doubt that. Whatever phase of grief you may be in right now, just know that God is with you. There were times when I knew He was simply holding me and carrying me when I didn't feel I could do it on my own. He was with me. The same is true for you. Just hold on ... there is a light.
I really need to finish the book. I keep adding details and events of how God continues to work through us for His glory. It
Meredith is the devoted wife to a wonderful husband and the mother to two beautiful children. Her relationship with Christ has enabled her to grieve the death of her daughter, Emma Danielle Duke, one day at a time.