Tomorrow will mark Emma's five month "heaven day". I still miss her so much. As I'm going about my daily tasks, I find myself thinking, what would have it been like with Emma here? Would I still be able to can and preserve our foods as I do now or would I still be exhausted from sleepless nights? When we go to Target, I imagine walking through the store pushing a stroller and then realize that that was how it was supposed to be, but not how it really is. Before Emma was born I had dreamed of gardening in the early spring with Emma in her stroller or bouncy seat out in the garden with us. That wasn't to be either. All the things that I had imagined or dreamed never came to pass. I know that they never will for Emma. I truly do, but I can't help but miss those dreams and long for Emma.
In the movie, Facing the Giants, there's the scene where Coach Taylor and his wife, Brooke, are standing in the kitchen and she's explaining to Grant all her hopes and dreams in having children. She tells Grant, "How can I miss someone so much that I have never even met?" That one particular line just resonates with my heart because that's how I feel sometimes. How can I miss Emma so much when I never got to really meet? Yes, I got to hold her. Yes, I was able to give her hugs and kisses, but she was already in heaven long before she was born. I long for the day that our whole family will be together in heaven. I know it'll be awhile, and it's all according to God's plan. I just know that I have two angels already waiting for me. Our precious little lambs have gone on before us.
I am taking the time to treasure our other children, James and Lauren. They are truly wonderful. What a blessing to have them here with us. I thank God every day for them for they are very precious. I realize now more than ever how beautiful life is and how blessed I am to have them.
Treasure the time with your own children. Life is too short, a vapor or a mist (as mentioned in the Book of James). God entrusted you to the care of your children, to raise them as God would want you to - to follow Him and love Him. You have been given a HUGE responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Children are a true treasure and gift from God. Treat them as such.
I'm taking each and every day in stride. Some days I miss her more than others but she's always in my heart and my thoughts. I imagine she always will be.
For this, her fifth-month "heaven day", I say, thank you Lord for all the blessings in my life, for Johnny, James and Lauren and my two precious angels in heaven. Lord, please kiss them for me until I'm able to do so myself. Thank you for the strength to get through each and every day. Thank you for grieving with me and feeling the hurt as I do.
In the movie, Facing the Giants, there's the scene where Coach Taylor and his wife, Brooke, are standing in the kitchen and she's explaining to Grant all her hopes and dreams in having children. She tells Grant, "How can I miss someone so much that I have never even met?" That one particular line just resonates with my heart because that's how I feel sometimes. How can I miss Emma so much when I never got to really meet? Yes, I got to hold her. Yes, I was able to give her hugs and kisses, but she was already in heaven long before she was born. I long for the day that our whole family will be together in heaven. I know it'll be awhile, and it's all according to God's plan. I just know that I have two angels already waiting for me. Our precious little lambs have gone on before us.
I am taking the time to treasure our other children, James and Lauren. They are truly wonderful. What a blessing to have them here with us. I thank God every day for them for they are very precious. I realize now more than ever how beautiful life is and how blessed I am to have them.
Treasure the time with your own children. Life is too short, a vapor or a mist (as mentioned in the Book of James). God entrusted you to the care of your children, to raise them as God would want you to - to follow Him and love Him. You have been given a HUGE responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Children are a true treasure and gift from God. Treat them as such.
I'm taking each and every day in stride. Some days I miss her more than others but she's always in my heart and my thoughts. I imagine she always will be.
For this, her fifth-month "heaven day", I say, thank you Lord for all the blessings in my life, for Johnny, James and Lauren and my two precious angels in heaven. Lord, please kiss them for me until I'm able to do so myself. Thank you for the strength to get through each and every day. Thank you for grieving with me and feeling the hurt as I do.